Scoop Times

Your source for REAL news headlines with comedic stylings and commentary

"Ladies, I'm even bigger than this" (President Obama bragging at a local DC deli Wednesday afternoon)

 Wednesday 5/16/2012 (Please visit url for full news article)

Stimulus funded erectile dysfunction studies...  I guess there were more boner ready projects, than shovel ready projects

'Armed Environmental Police Officers' Shut Down Ice Cream Stand...”Drop that Cone if you want to live”

Florida students' test scores drop, so state lowers passing grade... I think Arizona State does this every year on admissions too

Greeks withdraw $894 million from banks -- in a day... McDonalds in Athens had a buy one get one free sale on gyros

4 'Guardian Angels' knifed trying to stop robbery... So the suspect was not afraid of their intimidating French berets?

Woman Accused Of Robbing Bank With 'AIDS Syringe'... Was it like Magic Johnson caliber blood or Freddie Mercury grade?

Thieves Breaking into Ambulances, Stealing Anxiety Drugs... I guess hospitals use Honda Accords as ambulances now

STRESSED OUT: ER Visits Tied to Xanax, Anxiety Drugs Up 50%... It’s those damn ambulance robbers from my story above

'AMERICA'S GOT TALENT' ratings lower despite Howard Stern... Can Hank the angry drunken dwarf be a contestant?

Clowns Armed With 1,000 Pies To Protest at NATO Conference... Remember John Wayne Gacey, he wasn’t a lovable clown at all

STUDY: Sugar 'can make you dumb'... (and fat)

Urban Radio Callers Slam Obama Over Gay Marriage Support... Urban means black, right?

VIRGIN ATLANTIC to allow in-flight cellphone calls... Hopefully there won’t be a lot of “urban” passengers talking like in the movie theatres